Daily Routines: Pre-Charlotte-Mason Possibilities

To start the year off well, I'd like to do a more thoughtful take on the concept of a resolution. If you're like me (or like most people), you've tried your share of resolutions and perhaps would like a more balanced approach. That, I think, is in routines. I'll do another post about weekly routines, and several more examining specific aspects of specific routines.

Basics of Daily Routines

Any good article you can find about "routines" will differentiate them from "schedules." I'll do the same. For the purposes of this and future posts, "routine" refers to a relatively set sequence of events that repeats at certain intervals, while "schedule" refers to a time-bound sequence of events. The main difference between the two is the increased flexibility of the routine versus the schedule--in the former case, the next thing occurs when the previous thing is done, whenever that is; in the latter case, the next thing occurs when the clock reads a certain time, regardless of whether the previous thing is long done or not yet done.

How to Make a Routine

The process I usually go through to create a routine that is truly a routine and not short-lived has a couple of steps. You may recognize these as related to the Stages of Change or Transtheoretical Model. I'll use "getting outside every day" as an example, since that was one of my 2023 goals for myself and Child.

First is perception or recognition of a few things:

• Discontent, a.k.a., Something in my life needs to change. I'm antsy, getting a lot of screen time, and feeling cooped up. Plus, the weather is generally lovely (to me).
• I can take one or more concrete actions to change it. I think going outside regularly might resolve my issues.
• I have a general idea of the concrete action to take. Going outside in general will look different if I have a carrier, stroller, or neither of those. Can I combine this with a walk with Child?
• It will take about a month of consistent effort to make the action a habit. There's no time like the present--I don't want to wait for New Year's Day.

Second is the preparation to implement the concrete action. Aspects of this may be reading for fact-gathering, watching informational and/or motivational videos, and gathering supplies. The channels I've been watching have been talking about 1000 Hours Outside, the website for which cites a lot of trustworthy scientific literature about why to get outside as much as possible (and a 2021 news story about families trying the challenge!). I'm not a camper or swimmer at this point in my life, but I can walk and use the playground. I want to make sure I have a stroller at home when both I and Child are awake with a good time for both of us to get outside for a while. I'll take a book, phone, and planner with me so that I can get some one-handed work done while walking and that way won't feel as guilty about taking multiple hours outside.

Third is the implementation of the concrete action. To make myself more accountable and likely to keep the habit going, I like to associate daily performance of the action with writing of some sort. It also helps to temper expectations--"start low, go slow". I'll put a daily time tracker in the front of my planner. I'm pretty sure I won't get to 1000 hours outside given my job and childcare situation, so I'll try for halfway, at 500. I'll track only Child's outside time since I'll be getting most of it alongside, most days. I should log the running total too.

How to Improve a Routine

Besides the maintenance of a newly established routine (the last phase of the Transtheoretical Model), sometimes a routine can and should be improved. The process of doing this is similar to the original development of the routine, except that the type of action change is different in degree or type. That is, to improve an existing action, it's not always necessary to add something where nothing was before, but more often to do the same thing differently. In 2024, since Child made it to just under 640 hours outside, which exceeded my goal, I can take some steps during spring and early summer to be outside even more with him, maybe to 700 hours for the year. I'll see if I can get together more with a local mom or two, and get some time in the pool or an outdoor waterpark as well. If Child is willing to wear shoes on a path, we can add in some hikes with outdoor lunches or dinners.

Daily Routines and Charlotte Mason Education

One feature of Charlotte Mason's method of education is the use of timetables, a.k.a. schedules that many families do choose to tweak into routines. Instead of beginning one subject at XYZ time of day every day it occurs, many parents choose to time-block (i.e., spend 30 minutes on XYZ, then 20 minutes on ABC, etc.). AmblesideOnline, a free CM-style curriculum, has a nice page describing variations in scheduling homeschool days.

Another feature of CM education is the focus on training each child in one habit at a time. Typically, this is done for 6-8 week intervals, with daily, consistent reinforcement tapering down the external cues given to the child as s/he becomes more independent in performing the habitual action (e.g., paying prompt attention). In a CM-style term (~trimester), two habits can be worked on.

Let's put these two concepts together and think about what we might do for a child who is not yet school age. Say that a child is 2 years old. What would I have already worked on?

• Basic care routines that work for both of us--sleep times, waking/bedtime process, feeding, bodily cleaning
• Determining how s/he self-regulates and how I can assist with that--comfort-touch spots, cuddle cues, music, other features of the environment
• Setting my verbal and other cues so that s/he knows when and how to respond--tone of voice, hand on the shoulder, "hand" to reach for mine before crossing a street
• Maximizing time spent in generally supervised free play (where I'm close enough to intervene if there is a high enough degree of physical danger to him/her or someone else) and outside time in all types of weather--this helps reduce unwanted behaviors and increase attention span

With these in place, I would then simply incorporate more routines or components thereof as the child develops toward a point at which s/he can begin (in)formal education. 

How Our Daily Routines Work

At the time of this post, Child is approximately 2 years old. What do our days flow like?

Morning vs Night Person

Husband's and my body clocks have almost opposite rhythms, although our actual awake times aren't offset by quite that much. Child, like me, is a morning person, as appropriate for that age. My day starts first, with a low-energy-expenditure wakeup with hydration and a strength workout. Then, I'll work on computer tasks until Child wakes up, at which point we'll do dressing, breakfast, and indoor playtime. Usually, I can get in either some housework or lower-concentration computer work as Child continues to play in the general area.

Next is our initial outdoor time, usually an average of 1.5 hours (more in above-freezing temperatures) using the stroller and a local conservancy or biking trail. I'll bring a combination of work and reading material, and mainly follow Child around when out of the stroller. Following that, we return home for lunch and Child's naptime (which can include up to an hour of quiet time in the crib before actually falling asleep). I'll focus on work tasks or a brief nap myself during that time, and housework or play after Child is up for the afternoon. Post-bedtime, I wind down myself, immediately if possible, since I know my body clock will wake me early the next day no matter when I go to bed.

Husband is a later riser and feels as tired waking up as I do around my bedtime, so between us we stock him with food and drink items with which to awaken. Depending on what meetings he has that day, he may exercise (indoors) in early or later afternoon, and then either work or reading after I go to bed.

Educational Components

None of us are in a formal educational program or course at this time. That said, we are all life-long learners, and Husband and I do most of our learning via reading and mutual discussion. I add long-form writing to my learning process because "he who writes, reads twice." (Blogging is a big part of that for me.) Child, not yet being a full reader but aware of the physical process of turning pages, vocalizing words, and tracking (ish) with a finger, is learning the most by observation and imitation. I'm beginning to involve us both in home maintenance tasks and skills (wiping up spills, stirring a pot, dumping in ingredients).

Spiritual and Emotional Components

Our Christian faith is at the center of our lives. On a daily basis, then, we use various texts including the Bible (sometimes with Apocrypha readings as assigned by the Daily Office), the shorter or longer version of Morning or Evening Prayer, and books or articles enhancing our understanding of the world in which the biblical writers and audiences lived. Although there is definite benefit to meditation on a text, we've found it optimal for our spiritual growth to use both mind and spirit, not only spirit.

From an emotional standpoint, we three are all a combination of phlegmatic and melancholic, making for a generally quiet and peaceful house. Child brings rambunctious energy to late afternoons and evenings especially, and so Husband and I discuss various antics as we adapt our responses to them and plan responses to potential future antics. Last year, I read Gottman's Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, and realized that both of us naturally do emotion coaching. When routine is disrupted, we rationally process our emotions and continue whatever aspects of routine are possible to regain an even keel.

Physical and Nutritional Components

This aspect of our daily routine has been one of the most interesting adaptation points in our marriage. Husband is very much an indoorsy person, and associates the method of food preparation/obtainment with the degree of comfort the food provides. I, meanwhile, am an outdoorsy, second-generation from-scratch person for mostly economic reasons. We used to exercise together, but at this point in our lives we will make sure to eat a meal as a family every day, and follow our internal clocks and outdoor preferences for other meals and physical activity.

I hope you learned something useful to your daily routine, especially if you have a young child or two in your household! Feel free to share what you learned, or something I missed, in the comments!