This year, one of my mini-series I've planned, roughly approximating our family's growth trajectory, is on stages of child life. This week, the topic is infancy! Because I don't have a particular book or subtopic in mind around which to frame the post, we'll call this series "Assorted Thoughts."
Operational Definitions
In an attempt to blog within the spirit of the analytical philosophy tradition, of which Husband is a fan, I'd like to start with defining key terms. Suffice it to say that babies in general are a hotly discussed topic in wider culture for various reasons.
Let's start chronologically. What is a fetus? This is a scientific designation for a preborn infant from around 8 weeks' gestation until born. Etymologically, it comes from a Latin term meaning "fruitful" or "newly delivered." A related word etymologically is "fawn."
Once born, a baby is called a newborn until around 8 weeks old. Size can vary quite a bit; some newborns (e.g., Child) never fit in newborn-size clothing!
From birth until walking ability emerges, the baby is called an infant. Thereafter, he or she is termed a toddler--a topic for another post!
Things I Like About Babies
I'd like to preface this section with the disclosure that, while I have always enjoyed holding other people's babies (and still do!), I never saw myself as the type of person who would enjoy being the mother of anyone under around 8 years old. Child changed all that, for which I am very grateful.
Being Busy
I'm the type of person who does not do well with a week off of work unless there is more than enough to keep me occupied and productive. Infant care takes up quite a bit of time, so I found myself generally enjoying that aspect with Child. Things like nursing (up to 6 hours or so per day for newborns), diaper changing (up to 8-10 diapers per day at a few minutes per diaper), outfit changing (depends on the diaper situation!), and soothing before sleep or during fussing (heavily dependent on the child's disposition and medical status) can easily take up the full day.
Snuggles
When I was a biology major, before becoming a physical therapist, I learned somewhat about the various hormones used by the human body to carry out life functions. The subset of "feel-good" hormones includes dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin. Dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin can be increased by reward-based activities, exercise, complex carbohydrates, and being outside, respectively.
What increases oxytocin? Loving touch and time--including plenty of baby snuggles! I've found that of the feel-good hormones, I find myself most craving and enjoying oxytocin. There is a lot of prolonged physical contact involved in taking care of an infant, and that I thoroughly enjoy.
Portability
Barring any physical issues preventing one from carrying a 6-30 pound load for long periods, infants are more portable than slightly older children. (I'm excluding car seats, but here's a wrist-saving way to carry the infant seat.) When Child was younger than the speed-crawling stage, my favorite hands-free device was a Moby wrap that kept baby and myself ergonomically close and content.
Even when an infant is big enough for a backpack-style carrier, the portability factor can't be beaten. Babies love to see the world from up high, so when I don't have a carrier handy there's always the option of putting Baby on my shoulders for balance.
Opportunity
While it is generally no longer believed that a newborn represents a completely "blank slate" (a pre-genetic Lockean idea), a newly born human being represents a tremendous opportunity for the parents to observe, facilitate, and delight in the child's development.
Many developmental milestones are encouraged by the environment an infant is in--diverse types of naturally occurring stimulation, minimal artificially induced stimulation, ordinary household and nature-based objects, and plenty of outdoor time. It does help to have some knowledge of what should typically happen around certain ages, as well as age-appropriate expectations combined with adult-level respect.
While the intent of this post is not to go into detail about typical development, if you're curious about various milestones, a helpful link is here (high-level summary).
Things I Don't Like About Babies
Lest you all think the baby phase was sunshine and roses for me . . . it wasn't! I discovered, mainly, that I am extremely sleep-defensive when it comes to maintaining a bedtime for myself, since my body clock prefers early wake-ups without this necessarily corresponding to adequate sleep for the day.
Different Ideas About Sleep
Infants have rather different body clocks than adults do, per the Sleep Foundation. Quality of their sleep can be best in the daytime during naps and the opposite overnight, or vice versa. Husband being a night owl and I being very much a morning person, this works out reasonably well except when Baby wants to cluster feed at night.
Nighttime Sleep Noises
Healthline goes over some of the weird-but-normal noises babies can make when they sleep. They are not quiet sleepers whatsoever! This is something I both like a dislike, depending on where I am in relation to Baby overnight. With Child, we had a baby monitor but never used it, because the "help-me" cry carried perfectly well to our bedroom. Due to my aural sensitivity and it normally taking me up to 40 minutes to get back to sleep after waking up in the night, I lasted precisely one overnight with Child next to my side of the bed. When I'm well-rested, though, or during the day, I find the variety of sleep noises adorable.
Nonspecific Pre-verbal Communication
Babies can be hard to figure out sometimes! Most do not start vocalizing words in their parents' language until closer to the 12-18 month mark. I was very grateful to find out about Dunstan baby language when Child was out of the newborn phase, but would have liked to know about it sooner.
What is this "language"? It's a fairly universal set of vocalizations that babies may use before they work up to a cry, in order to communicate different needs:
- Neh = hunger
- Eh = gas/needing to burp
- Eairh = gas/needing to poop
- Heh = hot, cold, wet
- Owh/oah = sleepiness
Lack of Community Support
Raising a baby does work best with people around to provide help--cleaning your house, watching your other child(ren), soothing Baby overnight so you can get back to sleep faster, and so on. When this doesn't happen, infant care can be significantly more difficult and the healing process for mama take longer. We live several hours away from both sets of grandparents and other extended family. Like some American neighborhoods, ours is fairly insular, which might have been exacerbated over the last couple of years.
Books that Shaped my "Baby" Worldview
As I reflected on some of the changes that happened within me over the last few years to shape how I view and feel about babies (specifically my own), I realized that three books in particular have influenced me more than others.
- How Children Became People (link) by ecclesiastical history scholar O. M. Bakke.
- In New Testament-era Greece and Rome, children (birth-teen) were viewed much differently than they are now. Major changes in the Western cultural norms surrounding childhood took place as a result of Christian influence. Specifically, children became viewed as humans from a young age.
- I read this book a few years ago, as part of the beginning of a more systematic read on theology and New Testament history. As a result, I became much more appreciative of the role of Christian faith in how infants and children are and should be treated.
- The Mother's Almanac (link) by seasoned mothers Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons, with delightful line illustrations by Rebecca Hirsh.
- In the 1970s, this little 8.5 x 11 x 1" gem came out, and my mother acquired a copy by the early 1980s when the first of my siblings came around. It is organized thematically by chapter, and chronologically within each chapter, focusing on pregnancy through age 6. The subtitle captures its focus on practical advice: "The Most Complete Book Ever Written on Loving and Living with Small Children. Everything From Discipline and Independence to Cooking, Crafts, and Other Adventures."
- I first read this book a few years before Husband and I got married, and again when Child was very young. What struck me the most was the conscious choice the authors advised, to enjoy typical development and appreciate what each "problem" in a phase means. Patience comes by experience, and the way to strengthen it is by taking time with one's small child. As an example, a 3-year-old learns how the world works by disassembling and reassembling things on repeat.
- Luther's Small Catechism (link) by Martin Luther.
- The actual catechism is quite short, a few dozen pages at most. In most editions, it is paired with the Explanation which includes additional questions that confirmands may be asked, along with proof texts from Scripture. It is organized into 6 sections: the Ten Commandments, Apostles' Creed, Lord's Prayer, the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, Confession & Absolution, and the Sacrament of the Altar.
- Like most Lutheran confirmands, I first went through this book in seventh grade as part of my congregation's 2-year confirmation curriculum. Specific to infants, the section on Baptism emphasized the doctrine of infant baptism being encouraged specifically because of what being baptized means (entry into God's family via adoption). There is no age requirement to become a Christian.
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